shrek: well, better out than in, i always say, eh? heheheheh someBODY ONCE
*tony stark voice* steve rogers is a lobster pass it on
If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them
Rose: Come on Doctor, lets go to the beach!
Doctor: Just let me put some suitable footwear on.
oops I’m wearing saND SHOES
last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.
why are there some lipsticks like $30 please calm down you glorified red crayon
So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?
"Do not come any closer"
Justin Bieber’s lawyer probably
I find it weird that every time people personify the Seven Deadly Sins, they’ll make six of them portray the doer (someone who IS angry, someone who IS slothful, etc), but then they go to Lust and portray them as object being acted upon (someone OTHER PEOPLE would lust after).
Like honestly it would be more accurate to make them some scruffy white dude with a fedora than a sexy girl with curves.
This speaks to me on a deep level.
Thank you for this
a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan
years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal
he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”
I DONT GET IT????
i feel like the weirdest thing in the whole world is that purses are considered to be like, for girls„„ in society……. i mean like……….. everybody has objects that need to be carried. why would that be a girl thing? carrying objects? a girl only thing?
can the science side of tumblr expalin this
because men get to carry things in their fully funcTIONAL POCKETS OF THEIR CLOTHING
I hate when a person says they’ve had a bad day and everyone, instead of trying to cheer them up, enters a competition of who’s had the shittest life
Game of Thrones AU: A Happy Show